A Perfect Match II — Halloween
by Savannah Singleton
Summary: New York City Police Commissioner Frank Reagan experiences a series of weird encounters with members of his family as he attempts to dress in the Halloween costume selected for him by his lovely wife Nicole.


Frank pursed his lips as he stared at the outfit draped across the bed.

 _Really, Nicole?_

His wife had asked him weeks ago how he would like to dress for tonight's Halloween party. She'd laughed when he'd replied, "Same way I'm dressed right now."

"In your dreams," she'd replied.

"And just what is wrong with how I'm dressed?" His outfit of casual khaki slacks, brown plaid shirt, and tan shawl cardigan sweater seemed perfectly fine to him.

"It's a costume party, Frank. Which means you come dressed in a costume, as someone other than yourself."

Nicole had been planning the Halloween party for months, it seemed, bringing home new decorations daily. Witches, skeletons, ghosts, and carved pumpkins filled the house. He'd even caught her placing a full size skeleton in his favorite chair in his den two days before.

"And just where am I supposed to sit?" he'd complained when he'd gone in to read and enjoy a glass of scotch after dinner.

"Elsewhere," had been her reply, to which he had replied back, "The only _old_ bones that get to sit in that chair are mine!"

She had given in to his complaint, and placed the skeleton elsewhere.

He had given in earlier on the wearing of a costume, giving her carte blanche on his, trusting her judgement. Studying the costume laid out on the bed in front of him, he now regretted that decision. Nicole knew how much he hated formal attire. Why would she select a tuxedo, of all things?

He inhaled a deep breath as he shrugged his shoulders. _Oh well. Too late now._ The party started in less than an hour. And if his beautiful wife wanted him to dress in that, then that was how he'd dress, though he'd be miserably uncomfortable the whole night. Frank loved Nicole dearly. This was her night, her party. He would endure the discomfort to please her.

Once dressed in the heavy Edwardian trousers, stiff white shirt with gold cufflinks, white waistcoat, and black tailcoat jacket matching the trousers, he stood in front of the mirror hanging above his chest of drawers to adjust the white bowtie, a frown covering his face. He hated bowties. Next came the black silk top hat and white gloves.

 _I'll wear this old fashioned monkey suit this evening, Nicole, but I expect full reward at the end of the night for having done so._

He turned from the mirror, prepared to head downstairs, anxious to see how Nicole had dressed, knowing she would be beautiful in whatever costume she had chosen for herself. He opened the bedroom door, glanced both directions down the long hallway. The house had an eerie quietness about it. He'd expected to hear the clatter of silver chafing dishes, as well as Nicole giving orders as the catering service set up in the family dining room. Where was everyone?

Suddenly a mass of large black rats came racing down the hallway past him and on down the stairs. He jumped back, but not in time to prevent dozens of them from running across his shiny black oxford shoes.

 _What the...?_

"Nicole! What's with all the rats!? A bit excessive, don't you think!" he yelled out to his wife, though he had no idea where she was. Nicole hated mice. He recalled finding her standing on a chair in the kitchen one evening just before bedtime. A tiny mouse had run out from under the refrigerator, sending her to higher ground. And now she had allowed a herd of the nasty creatures released in the house just before the party? How strange was that? What would the guests think?

At once it became obvious why the rats had scurried downstairs. Water came rushing down the hallway toward him just as the small beasts had moments before.

What the hell? Had Pop left the water running in his bathroom?

There was only one way to find out. Frank removed his shoes and socks, rolled up the legs of his trousers, and made his way through the water to Henry's bathroom, where water flowed out under the closed door. When Frank opened the door, he found his dad relaxing in the tub full of bubbles. Lit candles surrounding the tub provided the only light in the room, creating a soft, serene setting. Frank would have considered it romantic had it not been his old man in the tub. Puffing on a cigar, the man seemed unaware of the water gushing over the top of the tub.

"Pop! What are you doing? Turn that water off! You're flooding the whole house! And what are you doing with that cigar? You know smoking isn't allowed in the house. Never has been. Mom never allowed it. Mary never allowed it."

"Very true, Francis. But what about Nicole? Does she allow it?"

"It doesn't matter! The rule was set long ago. Now put it out. And for heaven's sake, turn off that water!"

"Oh, Francis. Chill. I'm not really smoking a cigar. The water's not really running over. I'm not really even in the tub." He rested the cigar on the edge of the tub, next to a bar glass halfway filled with scotch, and stood, facing Frank.

"Oh, Jeez! Pop!" Frank cried out, his face distorting. He put his hand up in front of his eyes to shield them from the unpleasant view. "Please! Wrap a towel around yourself. How long have you been soaking in that tub anyway? You're all shriveled up."

"I'm old, Francis, what do you expect? Besides, I'm not really standing here in all my wrinkled glory. You're just having a dream. That's what happens when you stay up late watching _Titanic_ with your wife. You have weird dreams. Now, wake up, son, and go get dressed, or you'll be late for your own Halloween Party."

"I am dressed, Pop. Can't you see?"

"Oh, Francis. Don't be ridiculous. Nicole would never have you dress like that for her Halloween party. She knows how you hate formal attire. Now go on, so I can finish my bath." Henry waved him away, then slid back down into the tub, leaned back against it, and took a sip of his drink. "Ahh...this is the life. Nice dream, Francis. Thanks for including me in it. Nothing like a good soaking bubble bath, nice cigar, and a glass of your most expensive scotch."

Frank stood in his bedroom, looking at the outfit laid out on the bed.

 _Really, Nicole? You want me to dress like a highschool kid for your Halloween party?_

He shrugged his shoulders, exhaled, and began dressing. At least he would be comfortable in the relaxed fit jeans and light blue tee shirt with short, rolled up sleeves, though the letter-style jacket might get a bit warm over the course of the evening. Once dressed, he slipped on the socks and sneakers, then made his way down the stairs in search of Nicole, in hopes she had chosen to dress as a highschool cheerleader. The thought of his beautiful wife in a short cheerleading skirt delivered a huge smile across his face.

As he proceeded down the stairs, the voice of Bob Seger singing _Old Time Rock & Roll _grew louder and louder.

Strange music for a Halloween party, but not a bad choice. He would have expected something more on the lines of chains rattling, wolves howling, evil witches cackling.

Just as he reached the bottom of the stairs, Jamie came sliding by on his sock clad feet, dressed in nothing but tight white briefs, a pink striped oxford shirt with the collar turned up on the back of his neck, and the white crew socks. The shirt was open; only the last two buttons were secured. He held a gold candlestick from the living room fireplace near his mouth.

 _What the...?_

Jamie! What in tarnation are you doing? Where are your pants?"

Jamie stopped in mid action of wild dance steps, glanced up to see Frank. "Oh, hi, Dad, I didn't hear you come down." He hid the candlestick behind his back, his face turning red with embarrassment.

"How could you, with that music blaring. What's going on here? Where's Nicole?"

"Nicole?" Jamie shrugged his shoulders. "Beats me. Haven't seen her. Now if you'll excuse me..."

Jamie brought the candlestick back around to his mouth, began lip syncing the words to the Bob Seger song still blasting from the living room stereo system, as he swung his hips vigorously from side to side, finally ending his performance by doing the splits.

"Jamie! Stop that nonsense now, and get your pants on before the guests start arriving!"

"Don't worry, Dad. I'm not really dancing in the hallway in my underwear. You're just dreaming. That's what happens when you stay up late watching _Risky Business_ with Nicole. You have weird dreams."

 _"Risky Business?_ Never heard of it."

"Sure you have, Dad. Tom Cruise. 1983. Now, you'd better get back upstairs, get dressed for the party, or you'll be late."

"I am dressed, son. Can't you see?"

Jamie let out a chuckle. "Yeah, right. Like Nicole would have you dress for Halloween as a teenager. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to go check on the Porsche."

"Porsche? What Porsche? And put on your pants before you walk out of this house! It won't look good for the NYPD if you're arrested on Halloween night for indecent exposure!" Frank called out as Jaime headed toward the front door.

Jamie turned back around to face him. "Oh, Dad," he said, his arms out at his sides, elbows bent, palms up. "Don't you see? It's only a dream." Then he turned, and walked out the front door.

Frank stood in his bedroom, hands in his pockets, staring down at the bright red polka dotted costume on the bed, pursing his lips.

 _What the ….?_

"Nicole! There is no way I'm wearing this clown outfit!" he called out to his wife.

"Oh, come on, Dad, be a good sport."

Frank turned toward the voice in time to see Danny coming out of the bathroom, dressed in heavy, bright green tights and long matching cape, both adorned with blue rhinestones. The cape was fastened together at the neck, but otherwise open, exposing Danny's ripped chest.

"What the hell are you doing in the bathroom with Nicole?"

"Seriously, Dad? I wasn't in the bathroom with Nicole."

"Let me guess. You weren't really in the bathroom with my wife, and you're not really dressed like a trapeze artist because this is all just a dream."

Danny smirked. "Figured that one out all by yourself, did you, Dad?"

Frank opened his mouth to scold his eldest son for smarting off, but then it hit him. "So, if this is just a dream, then I don't have to put on that silly clown suit, right?"

Danny removed his cape with one hand, spun it around in front of him, then draped it over his arm. Of course you do, Dad."

"And just why is that?"

"Because. It's part of the dream," Danny said, and then he exited the bedroom.

"So what movie did Nicole and I stay up late last night watching?" Frank called out to him.

"You won't know, Frank, until you put on the costume," a female voice said. Frank turned to see Linda coming out of the bathroom, dressed in a blue strapless, sweetheart cut, one piece leotard with fringe skirt. Green rhinestones outlined the bodice. A large blue feathered headdress completed her skimpy outfit.

"She's right, you know, Dad," Erin said, coming out of the bathroom, dressed in similar outfit to Linda. "There are some things you just have to do, no matter how unpleasant they might be for you." As she headed out the bedroom door behind Linda, she said, "Better hurry and get dressed. Party starts in half an hour. You don't want to be late for your own Halloween party."

Frank turned his attention back to the costume on the bed. Mumbling to himself, he slipped into the one piece clown costume, and then the red wig and round red nose. As he sat in a wing back chair, slipping on the large clown shoes, Garrett Moore came walking out of the bathroom, dressed in a red circus ringmaster outfit, including black top hat trimmed in red.

"Frank! What are you doing dressed in that ridiculous clown outfit?" he asked as he cracked the whip in his hand.

"Well, you certainly don't have room to talk! Look at how you're dressed!" Frank shot back. "And what are you doing in my bathroom with my wife!"

"I don't look ridiculous, Frank. But you do. I look quite dashing. Don't I, Detective Baker?"

"Yes, you do," Detective Baker said as she came walking out of the bathroom, dressed in the female version of Garrett's ringmaster costume, shapely legs exposed underneath the snug leotard.

"Who the hell else is in that bathroom with my wife?" Frank was past the point of agitation, though it was lost on his smiling clown face.

"No one is in the bathroom with your wife, Frank," Garrett said. "You're just dreaming. That's what you get for staying up late watching a movie with your wife."

"I know that!" Frank yelled. "Just tell me what movie we watched."

"You're a smart man, Frank. Figure it out on your own. I have a circus to lead. Ready, Baker?"

"I'm ready," she replied taking his offered arm. Just as she and Garrett reached the bedroom door, she turned back to Frank, who was busy pulling a long series of handkerchiefs from the pocket of his costume.

"Sir, you're having this dream because you and your wife stayed up late watching _The Greatest Show on Earth."_

"Thank you, Baker," he replied.

"You're welcome, sir. Will there be anything else?"

"No, Baker, that will be all."

"Thank you, sir." She turned to leave, then paused. "Umm, sir, if I may—"

"Yes, what is it, Baker?"

"I hope that isn't what you plan to wear to the Halloween party. I can't imagine that Nicole would want you dressed in such a ridiculous costume."

"Neither would I," Frank said. Once Garrett and Detective Baker disappeared down the stairs, he plopped down in the wing chair, too frustrated and too worn out to change out of the clown costume. He pulled the wig from his head, sat holding it in his hand, staring down at the oversized shoes covering his feet.

"Frank, wake up."

Frank stirred. Opening his eyes, he saw Nicole leaning over him. She looked absolutely ravishing in a sleeveless off the shoulder, low cut, burgundy red ball gown, embellished with glass teardrop beads. Red faceted beads outlined the neckline, and a profusion of ostrich feathers around the shoulders. Her black ringlet wig added to the paleness of her skin, the deep red lipstick added color.

"What's going on? What time is it?"

"You seem to have dozed off, Frank, while waiting on me to finish dressing for the party. It's almost time for it to start. We need to head downstairs, before the guests start arriving."

Noticing the grey gambler style hat he held in his hand, he glanced down at his feet. They were covered with tall-heeled black boots. He stood, noticing the grey trousers he was wearing. He walked over to his chest of drawers, checked himself out in the mirror, surprised to see that he was dressed in a black cutaway jacket, grey waistcoat, white shirt, and checkered cravat.

"Umm...Nicole….did we stay up late last night watching _Gone With the Wind?"_

"No. We stayed up late finishing up with last minute decorations and pigging out on cheesecake. Don't you remember?"

Frank turned to face her. "So...then, you really are dressed as Scarlett O'Hare, and I'm dressed as Rhett Butler?"

Nicole laughed nervously. "Yes…. Are you okay, Frank?"

"I think so. So...your selection for my costume was Rhett Butler?"

"Of course it was, Frank. How else would I dress you for Halloween? After all, you make a perfect Captain Butler."

"I do?" he asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Absolutely! I hope you're okay with the outfit. I know it's not as comfortable as your plaid shirt and sweater, but you look so handsome, so incredibly dashing and debonair."

"I'm fine with it, Nicole. It's not really that uncomfortable. And it could be worse. It could be a clown suit."

"A clown suit? I wouldn't dream of having you dress in something so ridiculous."

"Thank God for that." He offered Nicole his arm. "Shall we go downstairs and greet our guests, Scarlett?"

"I can't wait to see how all the kids are dressed," Nicole said as they walked together down the stairs.

"I just pray they're all fully clothed," Frank replied.

 _The End_


End file.
